No, no, that’s the music you heard when it come on. Graphic homoeroticism? Does that mean they’re going to get them out? I’ve got Aunt Irma visiting. Oh, do you not like Aunt Irma? I’ve got an aunt like that. Huh, what you think I’m afraid of you? I’m not afraid of you. He’s had quite an evening. Someone stole his wheelchair. Did you see who it was? Red bearded man. It’s my term for my time of the month. Oh. What time of the month? The weekend? I’m going to murder you… You bloody woman!
Hello? I’ve had a bit of a tumble. I don’t see how they couldn’t just keep it as it was. How hard is it to remember 911? How long have you been disabled? Ten years? Ten years, and how did it happen? If that’s not a rude question. Acid? From today, dialing 999 won’t get you the Emergency Services, and that’s not the only thing that’s changing! How long have you been disabled? Ten years? Ten years, and how did it happen? If that’s not a rude question. Acid? Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? No, that’s the music you hear when… I’m sorry are you from the past?
0115… no… 0118… no… 0118 999 … 3. Hello? Is this the emergency services? Then which country am I speaking to? Hello? Hello? I mean, they have no respect for us up there! No respect whatsoever! We’re all just drudgeons to them! 0115… no… 0118… no… 0118 999 … 3. Hello? Is this the emergency services? Then which country am I speaking to? Hello? Hello? Yes! Yesterday’s jam. That is what we are to them!… Actually, that doesn’t work, as a thing, because, you know, jam lasts for ages. Yeah, you do know how a button works don’t you? No, not on clothes. Well that’s easy to remember. 0118 999 88199 9119 725! … 3! Uh… okay, well, the button on the side, is it glowing?
I am a man, he’s a man, we’re men! Ok, tell me how your feeling. I feel delicate… and annoyed, and… I think I’m ugly. Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better looking drivers mean they’re not just the Emergency Services, they’re your Emergency Services. While he was eating, did you hear anyone laughing? Like… in the kitchen area? Yes! Yes I did, actually, yes I did. That’d be trouser food! If anyone was ever rude to me, I used to carry their food around in my trousers. Oh my God! Before you brought it to their table? No, after! Of course, before! Why would I do it after? How can you two… Don’t Google the question, Moss! You’re not comfortable with your sexuality? Oh, I’m very comfortable with my sexuality, I just don’t want to be slapped in the face with their sexuality. How can you two… Don’t Google the question, Moss!
We don’t need no education. Yes you do. You’ve just used a double negative. Might want to play a bit hard to get. If anyone was ever rude to me, I used to carry their food around in my trousers. Oh my God! Before you brought it to their table? No, after! Of course, before! Why would I do it after? You know, it’s high tide. But we’re not on the coast. I’m closed for maintenance! Closed for maintenance? I’ve fallen to the communists! Well, they do have some strong arguments. You mean 999. Yes, yes, I mean 999! Yeah, I know. That’s the American one, you berk! OK. Moss, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Smarties cereal. How long have you been disabled? Ten years? Ten years, and how did it happen? If that’s not a rude question. Acid?
